The Christmas Confession (an annual repost)

I have a confession to make.

*WARNING! After reading this you may view me differently and decide to run for the hills!

But, be certain that as always, I will try to justify my sins, because...well, that's how I roll.

Ahem.

This one goes WAY back.

I was between 3-4 years old.

My brother and sister were 8 and 10 years older than me, so I was given LOTS of love, affection and attention around the house. My siblings were much like extra parents and I was also one of the few small children in the family at the time, and I come from a LARGE family, so the doting just went on and on and on.

I guess the term some uncaring person would use to describe me was "spoiled".
(Jealous people always use the term "spoiled".)
If another baby or child came along, and I would catch my precious Momma, "oohing and ahhing" over my perceived competition, it would make me VERY jealous. So basically, I was jealous of any babies that received attention from my Momma- Attention that was rightfully mine!

ANY BABIES included BABY JESUS, I'm ashamed to say.

Momma had a large family Bible that stayed open on the coffee table.





It was always opened to the picture of the Holy Family following BABY JESUS' birth, while they were in the stable.


Especially around Christmastime, she would read The Christmas story to us. Telling the story of BABY JESUS' miraculous birth. She would tell us how she loved him.

Other families would send us Christmas cards with BABY JESUS' picture on it.



Then there were the stained glass windows in the Catholic church downtown with the blessed Baby Jesus artistically portrayed.





Sadly, rather than growing fond of BABY JESUS, I began to grow envious of the attention my Momma was paying to him. In my young mind, all I heard was "Baby Jesus this...and Baby Jesus that."

He was PERFECT! How could I compete?

Well, the green-eyed monster got the best of me. One night while my family was in the other room, I grabbed an ink pen. I had one agenda, and one agenda only. I was going to to tell this Baby what I thought about all this attention he was stealing from me, and that My Momma was MY Momma, and should just back off. He had his own Momma.

I walked closer to the bible. Looked at the Holy Baby staring up at his mother, and did the only thing a jealous 3-4 year old could do to settle the score...

I SCRIBBLED OUT BABY JESUS' FACE!

GASP! (I know.)

I dropped the pen and ran out of the room! I thought no one would be the wiser. How could they PROVE it was me?

Well, it took a few days for anyone to notice, but as I knew it would, JUDGEMENT DAY came for this spoiled little baby girl.

My Momma came to me and asked,"Sherri. Did you scribble out Baby Jesus' face in the bible?"

(me) "HUH?"

(Momma) "Sherri. Look. Last time I checked, Baby Jesus' face was fine, and now you can't see it because someone has scribbled out our Savior's face. Was it you?"

(me) "No."

(Momma) "Really? Are you sure?"

(me) "I'm sure."

(Momma) "Why would ANYONE want to scribble out the face of our Savior?"

(Me) "Because he has his OWN Mommy and I want him to leave you alone!"
And I started crying.

She smiled, hugged me, told me of her great love for me AND for Jesus, but that it was a different kind of love and I need not be jealous of Him, for He loved me too!


So, that day in my young mind, I decided I would share my magnificent mother with Jesus, 'cause it looked like He was here to stay and I was just going to have to deal with it.

And I did.

I've come along way! It is funny,though. She still has that Bible, with my graffiti in it.

Now, I don't find ANY scriptures against putting graffiti in the bible, or more specifically, crossing out Baby Jesus' face keeping me out of heaven. I've looked several times, it is NOT in there. So I think I'm good. (Pastor Mark? Are you there? What say you?)

But during this reflective week, this little "transgression" popped in my head and I thought I may need to confess it and move on.

I'm a changed person now. I'm mature. I am willing to share my awesome mother's love with Jesus, or any others she chooses to adore.

I believe I'm forgiven. And all Jesus jealousy is gone!

Momma was right.

He.is.awesome!



Do YOU have a confession to make? Come on...It will make me feel better.